Some things are meant to be in your life for a lifetime; some are meant to only be there for a while; while some are just not meant to be—that is life for us.
Believe it or not, it is now June. Half of this year has immaculately passed by, leaving us with no room for regret, just crumbs to reflect on. Academic-wise, I am a quick learner, but life-wise, my learning ability is not as quick. It takes me months—or perhaps years—to pivot on my toes and change a thing, but a quick look back to the first half of this year has proved that I am learning.
Here, let me present to you the mid-year evaluation report from a self-taught apprentice:
1. I learn to be more thankful about my whereabouts. Everything might seem opaque to the eye of oblivion, but I believe that God put me here for something great. I just have to wait, watch, and learn.
2. I reach out to people more this year. I ask my long-lost friends about how they are doing not out of politeness, but rather because I realize that I care. I know how good it feels to have someone remember and truly listen.
3. Dyeing my hair mahogany copper brown doesn’t make my face look washed out.
4. I am taking baby steps in learning to be less of a people pleaser. It is not easy, but I feel like I owe it to myself not to calculate every action I take. If someone takes offense, then so be it. I can’t control others, but I can control how I claw at the straws. “It is not my job to please everyone” is my mantra every time.
5. I don’t mean to promote consumerism, but I’ve been pampering myself with a lot of cute things in the name of romanticizing my life. As long as I know my limit and where to stop, I would say, “Go for it, girl.”
6. Slow living for life doesn't sound so bad, does it? You may find me talking about it quite a lot on my page, but believe me when I say that instead of advocating, I am actually convincing myself.
7. All my life, I’ve been struggling with perfectionism OCD—be it something crucial like work and school projects or a less demanding thing like my bookstagram feed. I have this weird tendency to hold an impossible standard for myself and myself only. It is a good thing that this year, I have slowly learned to accept that it is okay not to be perfect, to stop taking pride in being called clever, and to admit, “I make a mistake” at work without punishing myself too hard. No one will think that I am stupid—if they do, then why should I care?
8. I cast positive affirmations every morning and learn to truly believe what I say.
9. I pour my heart into little things. It feels good to feel excited over those little mundane occasions, like dinner with friends, the thought of baking something, and an ordinary night out with nothing special to celebrate.
10. Every time I feel like doing something worthy of a side-eye, I remind myself that people don’t care. I shouldn’t give too much f. As hard as it is to remember, people won’t dwell on it—they simply move on.
11. Earlier this year during a Sunday Service, the pastor said, “God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.” I keep that in mind, word for word.
12. I also learn that baking cinnamon rolls is easy. I remember the time when I was so obsessed with this dessert years ago.
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